Today was a very good day. I accomplished a lot of work, put up Christmas stuff, hung out with a cool person pretty much most of the day.
I'm really feeling Christmasy. Maybe it's just my family, but everyone is so much...glow-y around this time. And you're not as bothered by the little annoying things. Instead of piling up like usual,they evaporate. Which is a nice thought.
The four things on my mind right now are:
1) dubstep
2) cinnamon apple tea
3) my stupid career choice and Mark Zukerberg
4) scholarships
At first this list seems a bit intimidating, but the wonderful thing about fall break is it is chill as HELLLLLL. I could be any range of emotions right now, but I have no idea, cause it's so chill! I've come to appreciate chillness.
The silliest of the list, number 3. I just finished watching the social network ( it was pretty decent) and I got thinking about the whole career thing once more. Ya know I think I'm really jealous of super smart people. Like Mark Zukerberg. I wish I could do cool stuff like that. Obviously I couldn't invent facebook but...do you get what I mean? There was a line in the movie where someone said "Harvard students invent careers for themselves"
And I think, hey, I could do that. But then I think, wait, am I smart enough to do that? Not that I doubt how if my brain works or not. Just that...you know. I'm confident about myself...but not in that department. Because- who knows if I CAN be confident? I don't think I'm one of those people. Gah. I just don't want to go through life wondering if I could have done better. If I could've pushed myself more or aimed higher. Do other people do this? I certainly hope so...hah.
Are these blogs too long and rambly for anyone to actually read? Please let me know. And I hope I don't come off as whiny. Any help would be highly appreciated with the whole career thing btw.
Someone randomly just come up to me on the street and be like "hey! you'd be a great ______________"
That'd be nice but it's not gonna happen like that. At least I know I'm trying to work it out =)
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
3 Idiots is a Fantastic Movie
That anyone who is ever going to go to college should totally watch. Like, damn. I really like it when Hindi movies impress me. Cause they do get kinda formulaic after awhile. But I still really like them, like alot =D Anywho, it was this really great movie about these three bros and they're at this engineering school and it's super hard and just watch it ok!! Sooooo good. It got me thinking about the whole college and what-am-I-going-to-do-for-the-rest-of-my-life-thing. I knoooooow I've blogged about this before and given it a million thoughts, but it's inevitable.
That movie made me understand why I can't decide on a career. (without exaggeration) I'm really torn between "doing what I love" and (basically) "getting a degree for a career that I'm pretty cool with that pays well so I can take care of everyone". And by take care of everyone....I mean like giving back. I wanna buy my mom one of those blue toothpaste colored cars or a Thunderbird and I want to buy my dad a house in Colorado and take him on trips to mountains and stuff and make sure that my parents don't have to work anymore then they have to and that my brother is taken care of and can have his own place someday and that I'll always be able to help my friends and that I can do cool things like build a hospital in Sierra Leone. Honestly thats what will make me happy. So do I reach this happiness (which inevitably involves lots of money) by doing something that I love or by toleration or something like along those lines?? Despite all these running thoughts I still have this unwavering faith that God will throw me into whatever life I'm meant to have; the places I should go and the career I should do and the people I am supposed to be with. I just really wish he would let me in on the plan sometimes though.
Even if I go with the first option, I WILL feel selfish. Because then I'm just out for myself right? And I can't help but want to make the people I love. Like, at our class reunion, I wanna be SOMETHING. I don't want to "settle" with my life. I mean, ok I was on our local tv station for this event I helped out with where I got interviewed, and my grandparents were really proud. Like, super proud. And that was just me being on TV talking to a police chief! I dunno man. Am I thinkin too much?
If I go with option two, I know I'll find happiness eventually. But when is eventually? I don't want that kind of ambition to digest my soul. I wish I wanted to be a doctor. I really do, but I don't. And I wish I wanted to be an engineer or some crazy entrepreneur, but I don't. I know I could be a brilliant advertiser. And that isn't me just making that up; I know I'd be good at that and I would make a lot of money and be successful. But if I was an advertising executive I would hate myself. I can't stand anything business related, I just couldn't devote my life to that. This is all rather complicated. I'm sorry if you've read this far; I really don't wanna sound like that dude in Notes from Underground. I'm just tryin to figure this out.
That movie made me understand why I can't decide on a career. (without exaggeration) I'm really torn between "doing what I love" and (basically) "getting a degree for a career that I'm pretty cool with that pays well so I can take care of everyone". And by take care of everyone....I mean like giving back. I wanna buy my mom one of those blue toothpaste colored cars or a Thunderbird and I want to buy my dad a house in Colorado and take him on trips to mountains and stuff and make sure that my parents don't have to work anymore then they have to and that my brother is taken care of and can have his own place someday and that I'll always be able to help my friends and that I can do cool things like build a hospital in Sierra Leone. Honestly thats what will make me happy. So do I reach this happiness (which inevitably involves lots of money) by doing something that I love or by toleration or something like along those lines?? Despite all these running thoughts I still have this unwavering faith that God will throw me into whatever life I'm meant to have; the places I should go and the career I should do and the people I am supposed to be with. I just really wish he would let me in on the plan sometimes though.
Even if I go with the first option, I WILL feel selfish. Because then I'm just out for myself right? And I can't help but want to make the people I love. Like, at our class reunion, I wanna be SOMETHING. I don't want to "settle" with my life. I mean, ok I was on our local tv station for this event I helped out with where I got interviewed, and my grandparents were really proud. Like, super proud. And that was just me being on TV talking to a police chief! I dunno man. Am I thinkin too much?
If I go with option two, I know I'll find happiness eventually. But when is eventually? I don't want that kind of ambition to digest my soul. I wish I wanted to be a doctor. I really do, but I don't. And I wish I wanted to be an engineer or some crazy entrepreneur, but I don't. I know I could be a brilliant advertiser. And that isn't me just making that up; I know I'd be good at that and I would make a lot of money and be successful. But if I was an advertising executive I would hate myself. I can't stand anything business related, I just couldn't devote my life to that. This is all rather complicated. I'm sorry if you've read this far; I really don't wanna sound like that dude in Notes from Underground. I'm just tryin to figure this out.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Things I Could Have Done With My Evening...
So tonight I finished most of my homework before 9pm in order to watch 3 Idiots. I couldn't figure out how to get it to work, so instead of being productive, I stayed online for three hours reading FMLS and surfing youtube and doing absolutely positively nothing. So here is a list of things I could have done but didn't think of or chose not to do.
1) Sleep. That would've been nice.
2) Actually read the book for AP Lit homework. Also would have come in handy in the future.
3) Watched a movie that I've been wanting to watch for awhile. Sorry, Lagaan.
4) Updated my zune. Which I waited until now to do. 12% done at 11:30pm. wooooooo
5) Wrote this blog earlier!
6) Watched ALL of Outsourced.
7) Tried harder to study physics.
8) Applied for scholarships!
9) Started reviewing for bio olympiad. Sorry, bio.
10) Attempted to start Nanowrimo, which I actually have an idea for now.
11) BEEN PRODUCTIVE IN ANY POSSIBLE WAY!!!
12) Refrained from eating that bowl of ramen for dinner. Sorry, stomach.
13) Figured out where all my pictures from my computer went.
14) Researched for spring break location.
15) Taken my dog for a walk.
16) Do some of Arabic Unit 6, which I have neglected for about a week now. Sorry, weekend.
17) Figured out how to make sock puppets.
18) Learn enough Hindi so I could've watched 3 Idiots without subtitiles. Totally could've done that.
19) Cleaned my room!
20) File all of my college info.
21) GONE TO BED AND ACTUALLY GOTTEN A DECENT AMOUNT OF REST!!!!!
22) Not waited until now to discover that OMGOSH BUG AND LILLY GOT TOGETHER ON CROSSING JORDAN BUT THEN BUG WAS SUSPECTED FOR TERRORISM AND TORTURED AND WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN!!!!!???? eff you writers.
23) DONE ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE.
this list makes me mad at myself. that was such a pomhead thing to do. efffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ok I'm going to bed
1) Sleep. That would've been nice.
2) Actually read the book for AP Lit homework. Also would have come in handy in the future.
3) Watched a movie that I've been wanting to watch for awhile. Sorry, Lagaan.
4) Updated my zune. Which I waited until now to do. 12% done at 11:30pm. wooooooo
5) Wrote this blog earlier!
6) Watched ALL of Outsourced.
7) Tried harder to study physics.
8) Applied for scholarships!
9) Started reviewing for bio olympiad. Sorry, bio.
10) Attempted to start Nanowrimo, which I actually have an idea for now.
11) BEEN PRODUCTIVE IN ANY POSSIBLE WAY!!!
12) Refrained from eating that bowl of ramen for dinner. Sorry, stomach.
13) Figured out where all my pictures from my computer went.
14) Researched for spring break location.
15) Taken my dog for a walk.
16) Do some of Arabic Unit 6, which I have neglected for about a week now. Sorry, weekend.
17) Figured out how to make sock puppets.
18) Learn enough Hindi so I could've watched 3 Idiots without subtitiles. Totally could've done that.
19) Cleaned my room!
20) File all of my college info.
21) GONE TO BED AND ACTUALLY GOTTEN A DECENT AMOUNT OF REST!!!!!
22) Not waited until now to discover that OMGOSH BUG AND LILLY GOT TOGETHER ON CROSSING JORDAN BUT THEN BUG WAS SUSPECTED FOR TERRORISM AND TORTURED AND WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN!!!!!???? eff you writers.
23) DONE ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE.
this list makes me mad at myself. that was such a pomhead thing to do. efffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff ok I'm going to bed
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