Heyy. So this blog may be a lil hard to write, because my contacts are shiftinbg around like crazy and my mascara keeps sticking my eye lids together. Ehhhhh haha.
Today started as a meh day, then went to a bad day, then quickly picked up into a great day. Earlier today was my Grandma's memorial service. It was really, really nice. I'm used to Catholic funerals but the Methodist ones are ok too :) The only bad part I was the only person crying, like realllllly crying. Pretty sure I was PMS-ing, but whatever. I just kept getting angrier that I was crying and it made it worse lol but it's ok :) Because Patti and Thomas were there to hug me! hehe
Then I got to catch up with my cousins from Ohio, which was cool. Later I chilled with all the younger cousins, all 15 of them lol I really love my family :)
Later, I went to Rahul's house for his 18th birthday party!! Crazy stuff lol But it was a really good night. I just like where everything is at this point of the year, like, despite the occasions freak outs over little things, its good =)
I also determined I really like talking to people outside of my immediate friend circle! Like Jordan and Achyut!
The world is filled with really cool people. :)
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Friends
There are alot of things I could blog about right now. Like how roast beef ramen doesn't taste like roast beef, but rather some unidentifiable kind of meat. It's true!
Alot of stuff has happened this week. Well, not quite many things, but one huge, terrible event that shook my school and all the students who go there. So many thoughts because of it. I'd rather not blog about it...I would feel weird, like, I didn't know him so why should I have the right to talk about how his death changed me? Maybe someday. But not now. <3
Tonight, I would like to write about my friends please. I've been thinkin alot about them lately, how important they are to me, how I couldn't possibly live without them. But I'm also worried about my friendships. This past year, there was a large ordeal with 5 of my closest friends. Long story short, I still don't know where I messed up and what I did wrong, and I don't know if I'm gonna get these friends back. And I was alright, you know? I was hurt by the fault in the friendships, but I knew even if I missed them, I could carry on, and maybe someday we could rekindle our friendships. And I knew that I could depend on the other friends I have, the ones who helped me out with this ordeal. But now I feel like I'm doubting that a bit.
I'm doubting if my friends feel the same way about me as I feel about them. My friends, the closest ones to me, are my family. They are my brothers and sisters and without them I would be lost. And that's the truth, I love all of them very,very much. But I'm worried that I'm gonna lose them, that our friendships are gonna get hurt. Partially because of what happened with the other 5 friends. I'm afraid that I did (or am going to do) something that I don't realize makes them feel differently about me, and not want to be my friends anymore. It's kinda silly, I know. I'm really scared though. I hate not knowing what I've done to upset someone and I just don't want to lose anyone. I know that the transition to college is gonna take a toll on all of my close friendships; we won't see each other as often, and we really gotta try at keeping in touch, I mean you know how that goes. And I'm not writing this in like the "clingy-friend" kinda way. Honestly, I have beautiful people in my life that I just don't want to let go.
What if we forget about each other? What if something happens to someone? It's one of those things in life that I am scared shitless about but know that I gotta suck it up and not complain and hope for the best.
The basic point of this rant: I don't want to make mistakes. I pray to God that people forgive for what I've done. I hope people know how much they mean to me.
Please, God, keep us all together.
Alot of stuff has happened this week. Well, not quite many things, but one huge, terrible event that shook my school and all the students who go there. So many thoughts because of it. I'd rather not blog about it...I would feel weird, like, I didn't know him so why should I have the right to talk about how his death changed me? Maybe someday. But not now. <3
Tonight, I would like to write about my friends please. I've been thinkin alot about them lately, how important they are to me, how I couldn't possibly live without them. But I'm also worried about my friendships. This past year, there was a large ordeal with 5 of my closest friends. Long story short, I still don't know where I messed up and what I did wrong, and I don't know if I'm gonna get these friends back. And I was alright, you know? I was hurt by the fault in the friendships, but I knew even if I missed them, I could carry on, and maybe someday we could rekindle our friendships. And I knew that I could depend on the other friends I have, the ones who helped me out with this ordeal. But now I feel like I'm doubting that a bit.
I'm doubting if my friends feel the same way about me as I feel about them. My friends, the closest ones to me, are my family. They are my brothers and sisters and without them I would be lost. And that's the truth, I love all of them very,very much. But I'm worried that I'm gonna lose them, that our friendships are gonna get hurt. Partially because of what happened with the other 5 friends. I'm afraid that I did (or am going to do) something that I don't realize makes them feel differently about me, and not want to be my friends anymore. It's kinda silly, I know. I'm really scared though. I hate not knowing what I've done to upset someone and I just don't want to lose anyone. I know that the transition to college is gonna take a toll on all of my close friendships; we won't see each other as often, and we really gotta try at keeping in touch, I mean you know how that goes. And I'm not writing this in like the "clingy-friend" kinda way. Honestly, I have beautiful people in my life that I just don't want to let go.
What if we forget about each other? What if something happens to someone? It's one of those things in life that I am scared shitless about but know that I gotta suck it up and not complain and hope for the best.
The basic point of this rant: I don't want to make mistakes. I pray to God that people forgive for what I've done. I hope people know how much they mean to me.
Please, God, keep us all together.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Totally Feels like a Tuesday for No Good Reason
Wooooohooo! Done studying for today. Which makes me think maybe I should have invested a bit more time....ohwell.
Tis finals week! Luckily, I only have three main finals, being Lit, Physics, and Euro. Physics is a bit annoying, because if I get a C on the midterm, I get a C in the class for the semester. Ploopsicles. No pressure there really huh?
I have decided though that I won't freak out too much this week. Just a lil bit. Because, what's the worst that could happen? I am in colleges already =P
However I did set up a sweet study area. Chocolate milk, which wakes up your brain. Music (in a variety of languages other than English, which I have a theory about), a fun tshirt that makes me smile (Relay for Life: 2010, The Bricks!), Poco (the cat), my study buddy, and newly installed moving heater (cause our house gets cold after 10) and this new lamp that my parents got that apparently simulates real sunlight! hm!
Anywho. Informing your about my study place is kinda lame and boring...haha sorry. Moving on....
I've been tossing around the whole "become a veterinarian" idea a whole lot more. I think its pretty interesting, and I think it'd make me pretty happy. And they're are lots of perks too! Like, MSU's study abroad options are in Mexico and India (both of which I would totally love to go to) and during the India one, you spend two weeks at an elephant preserve!! Freakin elephants!! So cool lol More to come on this topic.
I'm kinda excited for the new semester. I have a semi-chill schedule, and Lit with Andrea, and Nutrition with Teena, and Med careers with John Shoop! Yayyyy haha.
I'm also excited for spring. I can't wait to roll down the windows of my car and wear sunglasses, and omgosh I can't wait to get tan again! hehe. =)
I feel like I should write about something serious now. To update on whats happened recently in my life, I guess. A few weeks ago, my Grandma died. I've never dealt with death like I did this time though. She was in the hospital for a few days, after one of many blood transfusions, and the aortic valve that had been weakening finally gave out. I wasen't as...emotional as I expected when it happened. There are certain days when I think about it and I really miss her, and other days it seems like shes not gone. Idk if thats weird or not...I was able to say goodbye to her. Which I guess was a big deal for me. Then I was to cope on my own, have some kinda closure. I still feel like I should be...sadder though. Ya know? Ah man. I also feel...weird about the whole process now. My Grandma wasen't Catholic, so we're not really having a full-on mass, more like a service, and its only supposed to be 20 minutes long. That really bothers me. And so of my relatives might not be coming for it...I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't have cared if she was Jewish or Buddist or anything but I feel like SOME kind of ceremony is necessary. Or is it just me?
Just something on my mind.
Have a good night =)
Tis finals week! Luckily, I only have three main finals, being Lit, Physics, and Euro. Physics is a bit annoying, because if I get a C on the midterm, I get a C in the class for the semester. Ploopsicles. No pressure there really huh?
I have decided though that I won't freak out too much this week. Just a lil bit. Because, what's the worst that could happen? I am in colleges already =P
However I did set up a sweet study area. Chocolate milk, which wakes up your brain. Music (in a variety of languages other than English, which I have a theory about), a fun tshirt that makes me smile (Relay for Life: 2010, The Bricks!), Poco (the cat), my study buddy, and newly installed moving heater (cause our house gets cold after 10) and this new lamp that my parents got that apparently simulates real sunlight! hm!
Anywho. Informing your about my study place is kinda lame and boring...haha sorry. Moving on....
I've been tossing around the whole "become a veterinarian" idea a whole lot more. I think its pretty interesting, and I think it'd make me pretty happy. And they're are lots of perks too! Like, MSU's study abroad options are in Mexico and India (both of which I would totally love to go to) and during the India one, you spend two weeks at an elephant preserve!! Freakin elephants!! So cool lol More to come on this topic.
I'm kinda excited for the new semester. I have a semi-chill schedule, and Lit with Andrea, and Nutrition with Teena, and Med careers with John Shoop! Yayyyy haha.
I'm also excited for spring. I can't wait to roll down the windows of my car and wear sunglasses, and omgosh I can't wait to get tan again! hehe. =)
I feel like I should write about something serious now. To update on whats happened recently in my life, I guess. A few weeks ago, my Grandma died. I've never dealt with death like I did this time though. She was in the hospital for a few days, after one of many blood transfusions, and the aortic valve that had been weakening finally gave out. I wasen't as...emotional as I expected when it happened. There are certain days when I think about it and I really miss her, and other days it seems like shes not gone. Idk if thats weird or not...I was able to say goodbye to her. Which I guess was a big deal for me. Then I was to cope on my own, have some kinda closure. I still feel like I should be...sadder though. Ya know? Ah man. I also feel...weird about the whole process now. My Grandma wasen't Catholic, so we're not really having a full-on mass, more like a service, and its only supposed to be 20 minutes long. That really bothers me. And so of my relatives might not be coming for it...I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't have cared if she was Jewish or Buddist or anything but I feel like SOME kind of ceremony is necessary. Or is it just me?
Just something on my mind.
Have a good night =)
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