Heyy. So this blog may be a lil hard to write, because my contacts are shiftinbg around like crazy and my mascara keeps sticking my eye lids together. Ehhhhh haha.
Today started as a meh day, then went to a bad day, then quickly picked up into a great day. Earlier today was my Grandma's memorial service. It was really, really nice. I'm used to Catholic funerals but the Methodist ones are ok too :) The only bad part I was the only person crying, like realllllly crying. Pretty sure I was PMS-ing, but whatever. I just kept getting angrier that I was crying and it made it worse lol but it's ok :) Because Patti and Thomas were there to hug me! hehe
Then I got to catch up with my cousins from Ohio, which was cool. Later I chilled with all the younger cousins, all 15 of them lol I really love my family :)
Later, I went to Rahul's house for his 18th birthday party!! Crazy stuff lol But it was a really good night. I just like where everything is at this point of the year, like, despite the occasions freak outs over little things, its good =)
I also determined I really like talking to people outside of my immediate friend circle! Like Jordan and Achyut!
The world is filled with really cool people. :)
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Friends
There are alot of things I could blog about right now. Like how roast beef ramen doesn't taste like roast beef, but rather some unidentifiable kind of meat. It's true!
Alot of stuff has happened this week. Well, not quite many things, but one huge, terrible event that shook my school and all the students who go there. So many thoughts because of it. I'd rather not blog about it...I would feel weird, like, I didn't know him so why should I have the right to talk about how his death changed me? Maybe someday. But not now. <3
Tonight, I would like to write about my friends please. I've been thinkin alot about them lately, how important they are to me, how I couldn't possibly live without them. But I'm also worried about my friendships. This past year, there was a large ordeal with 5 of my closest friends. Long story short, I still don't know where I messed up and what I did wrong, and I don't know if I'm gonna get these friends back. And I was alright, you know? I was hurt by the fault in the friendships, but I knew even if I missed them, I could carry on, and maybe someday we could rekindle our friendships. And I knew that I could depend on the other friends I have, the ones who helped me out with this ordeal. But now I feel like I'm doubting that a bit.
I'm doubting if my friends feel the same way about me as I feel about them. My friends, the closest ones to me, are my family. They are my brothers and sisters and without them I would be lost. And that's the truth, I love all of them very,very much. But I'm worried that I'm gonna lose them, that our friendships are gonna get hurt. Partially because of what happened with the other 5 friends. I'm afraid that I did (or am going to do) something that I don't realize makes them feel differently about me, and not want to be my friends anymore. It's kinda silly, I know. I'm really scared though. I hate not knowing what I've done to upset someone and I just don't want to lose anyone. I know that the transition to college is gonna take a toll on all of my close friendships; we won't see each other as often, and we really gotta try at keeping in touch, I mean you know how that goes. And I'm not writing this in like the "clingy-friend" kinda way. Honestly, I have beautiful people in my life that I just don't want to let go.
What if we forget about each other? What if something happens to someone? It's one of those things in life that I am scared shitless about but know that I gotta suck it up and not complain and hope for the best.
The basic point of this rant: I don't want to make mistakes. I pray to God that people forgive for what I've done. I hope people know how much they mean to me.
Please, God, keep us all together.
Alot of stuff has happened this week. Well, not quite many things, but one huge, terrible event that shook my school and all the students who go there. So many thoughts because of it. I'd rather not blog about it...I would feel weird, like, I didn't know him so why should I have the right to talk about how his death changed me? Maybe someday. But not now. <3
Tonight, I would like to write about my friends please. I've been thinkin alot about them lately, how important they are to me, how I couldn't possibly live without them. But I'm also worried about my friendships. This past year, there was a large ordeal with 5 of my closest friends. Long story short, I still don't know where I messed up and what I did wrong, and I don't know if I'm gonna get these friends back. And I was alright, you know? I was hurt by the fault in the friendships, but I knew even if I missed them, I could carry on, and maybe someday we could rekindle our friendships. And I knew that I could depend on the other friends I have, the ones who helped me out with this ordeal. But now I feel like I'm doubting that a bit.
I'm doubting if my friends feel the same way about me as I feel about them. My friends, the closest ones to me, are my family. They are my brothers and sisters and without them I would be lost. And that's the truth, I love all of them very,very much. But I'm worried that I'm gonna lose them, that our friendships are gonna get hurt. Partially because of what happened with the other 5 friends. I'm afraid that I did (or am going to do) something that I don't realize makes them feel differently about me, and not want to be my friends anymore. It's kinda silly, I know. I'm really scared though. I hate not knowing what I've done to upset someone and I just don't want to lose anyone. I know that the transition to college is gonna take a toll on all of my close friendships; we won't see each other as often, and we really gotta try at keeping in touch, I mean you know how that goes. And I'm not writing this in like the "clingy-friend" kinda way. Honestly, I have beautiful people in my life that I just don't want to let go.
What if we forget about each other? What if something happens to someone? It's one of those things in life that I am scared shitless about but know that I gotta suck it up and not complain and hope for the best.
The basic point of this rant: I don't want to make mistakes. I pray to God that people forgive for what I've done. I hope people know how much they mean to me.
Please, God, keep us all together.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Totally Feels like a Tuesday for No Good Reason
Wooooohooo! Done studying for today. Which makes me think maybe I should have invested a bit more time....ohwell.
Tis finals week! Luckily, I only have three main finals, being Lit, Physics, and Euro. Physics is a bit annoying, because if I get a C on the midterm, I get a C in the class for the semester. Ploopsicles. No pressure there really huh?
I have decided though that I won't freak out too much this week. Just a lil bit. Because, what's the worst that could happen? I am in colleges already =P
However I did set up a sweet study area. Chocolate milk, which wakes up your brain. Music (in a variety of languages other than English, which I have a theory about), a fun tshirt that makes me smile (Relay for Life: 2010, The Bricks!), Poco (the cat), my study buddy, and newly installed moving heater (cause our house gets cold after 10) and this new lamp that my parents got that apparently simulates real sunlight! hm!
Anywho. Informing your about my study place is kinda lame and boring...haha sorry. Moving on....
I've been tossing around the whole "become a veterinarian" idea a whole lot more. I think its pretty interesting, and I think it'd make me pretty happy. And they're are lots of perks too! Like, MSU's study abroad options are in Mexico and India (both of which I would totally love to go to) and during the India one, you spend two weeks at an elephant preserve!! Freakin elephants!! So cool lol More to come on this topic.
I'm kinda excited for the new semester. I have a semi-chill schedule, and Lit with Andrea, and Nutrition with Teena, and Med careers with John Shoop! Yayyyy haha.
I'm also excited for spring. I can't wait to roll down the windows of my car and wear sunglasses, and omgosh I can't wait to get tan again! hehe. =)
I feel like I should write about something serious now. To update on whats happened recently in my life, I guess. A few weeks ago, my Grandma died. I've never dealt with death like I did this time though. She was in the hospital for a few days, after one of many blood transfusions, and the aortic valve that had been weakening finally gave out. I wasen't as...emotional as I expected when it happened. There are certain days when I think about it and I really miss her, and other days it seems like shes not gone. Idk if thats weird or not...I was able to say goodbye to her. Which I guess was a big deal for me. Then I was to cope on my own, have some kinda closure. I still feel like I should be...sadder though. Ya know? Ah man. I also feel...weird about the whole process now. My Grandma wasen't Catholic, so we're not really having a full-on mass, more like a service, and its only supposed to be 20 minutes long. That really bothers me. And so of my relatives might not be coming for it...I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't have cared if she was Jewish or Buddist or anything but I feel like SOME kind of ceremony is necessary. Or is it just me?
Just something on my mind.
Have a good night =)
Tis finals week! Luckily, I only have three main finals, being Lit, Physics, and Euro. Physics is a bit annoying, because if I get a C on the midterm, I get a C in the class for the semester. Ploopsicles. No pressure there really huh?
I have decided though that I won't freak out too much this week. Just a lil bit. Because, what's the worst that could happen? I am in colleges already =P
However I did set up a sweet study area. Chocolate milk, which wakes up your brain. Music (in a variety of languages other than English, which I have a theory about), a fun tshirt that makes me smile (Relay for Life: 2010, The Bricks!), Poco (the cat), my study buddy, and newly installed moving heater (cause our house gets cold after 10) and this new lamp that my parents got that apparently simulates real sunlight! hm!
Anywho. Informing your about my study place is kinda lame and boring...haha sorry. Moving on....
I've been tossing around the whole "become a veterinarian" idea a whole lot more. I think its pretty interesting, and I think it'd make me pretty happy. And they're are lots of perks too! Like, MSU's study abroad options are in Mexico and India (both of which I would totally love to go to) and during the India one, you spend two weeks at an elephant preserve!! Freakin elephants!! So cool lol More to come on this topic.
I'm kinda excited for the new semester. I have a semi-chill schedule, and Lit with Andrea, and Nutrition with Teena, and Med careers with John Shoop! Yayyyy haha.
I'm also excited for spring. I can't wait to roll down the windows of my car and wear sunglasses, and omgosh I can't wait to get tan again! hehe. =)
I feel like I should write about something serious now. To update on whats happened recently in my life, I guess. A few weeks ago, my Grandma died. I've never dealt with death like I did this time though. She was in the hospital for a few days, after one of many blood transfusions, and the aortic valve that had been weakening finally gave out. I wasen't as...emotional as I expected when it happened. There are certain days when I think about it and I really miss her, and other days it seems like shes not gone. Idk if thats weird or not...I was able to say goodbye to her. Which I guess was a big deal for me. Then I was to cope on my own, have some kinda closure. I still feel like I should be...sadder though. Ya know? Ah man. I also feel...weird about the whole process now. My Grandma wasen't Catholic, so we're not really having a full-on mass, more like a service, and its only supposed to be 20 minutes long. That really bothers me. And so of my relatives might not be coming for it...I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't have cared if she was Jewish or Buddist or anything but I feel like SOME kind of ceremony is necessary. Or is it just me?
Just something on my mind.
Have a good night =)
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Break!
It is finally here. Now after a few days of stressfulness- it finally feels like Christmas break. I discovered that I really need to chill the eff about stuff sometimes. Like, as soon as we left school, I was thinkin "I have _____ work for _____ class to do-why arn't I doing it". Really now self-is that any way to spend senior year?
Arabic is finally over. Thank God. That was a semester's worth of ridiculousness. I realllllly hope college is not like Arabic class-if so that won't work out at all.
In other to-be-published news, I've heard back from 5 of my 6 applied colleges, which means, YES, I heard from UofM! Yeah they deferred me. Lol. I was really sad for one day, and then bitter, and to be honest the bitterness is still wearing off, but I've come to terms with it. And hey! I'm getting interviewed by some Duke guy next week! Yeah, if I got deferred from UofM, same thing will probably happen with Duke, but at least they care enough to count my personality ;D
Break is pretty chill so far. Spending alot of time at home, went sledding, had a girl's sleepover (which turned out to be pretty awesome), finished AP Euro homework (HUGE accomplishment) and and and finished Christmas shopping!
I got my brother the COOLEST thing. This!
The Limited-Edition-Only-At-Target-Red-and-Clear-Nerf-VULCAN-EBF-25!!!
And I thought of it before my parents. Hehehe.
I also finished Rahul's gift! And that's all on that subject :D
Christmas will be really great :) I hope everyone is well and all flights are safe and everyone feels warm and fuzzy inside! <3
I think I've finally settled down with life. I'm not freaking out about colleges anymore, and while I know I still have to try, I'm not gonna rule my life with that thought. It's a nice feeling that everything is going to be ok.
Christmas love is cool :D. I'm gonna go to bed now cause it's 4am. Goodnight, and have a good day today :)
Arabic is finally over. Thank God. That was a semester's worth of ridiculousness. I realllllly hope college is not like Arabic class-if so that won't work out at all.
In other to-be-published news, I've heard back from 5 of my 6 applied colleges, which means, YES, I heard from UofM! Yeah they deferred me. Lol. I was really sad for one day, and then bitter, and to be honest the bitterness is still wearing off, but I've come to terms with it. And hey! I'm getting interviewed by some Duke guy next week! Yeah, if I got deferred from UofM, same thing will probably happen with Duke, but at least they care enough to count my personality ;D
Break is pretty chill so far. Spending alot of time at home, went sledding, had a girl's sleepover (which turned out to be pretty awesome), finished AP Euro homework (HUGE accomplishment) and and and finished Christmas shopping!
I got my brother the COOLEST thing. This!
The Limited-Edition-Only-At-Target-Red-and-Clear-Nerf-VULCAN-EBF-25!!!
And I thought of it before my parents. Hehehe.
I also finished Rahul's gift! And that's all on that subject :D
Christmas will be really great :) I hope everyone is well and all flights are safe and everyone feels warm and fuzzy inside! <3
I think I've finally settled down with life. I'm not freaking out about colleges anymore, and while I know I still have to try, I'm not gonna rule my life with that thought. It's a nice feeling that everything is going to be ok.
Christmas love is cool :D. I'm gonna go to bed now cause it's 4am. Goodnight, and have a good day today :)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Resolution
Heh. Turns out that last blog about my complaining actually got totally resolved. The DVD situation was fixed and the final: take home!!
I'm in such a spectacular mood right now it's ridiculous. I'm in a mood where "I turn off my computer-get up to go to bed-and think-hey I wanna blog about this happy feeling which is overflowing out of my heart and making every lil cell in my body smile". Maybe that's a bit to detailed. Well, I at least hope my cells are smiling. Or a majority of them. Anywho. This probably has to do with Rahul (who I probably talk about too much but thats ok). I don't know man. Maybe it's the plain white t's song that has been on repeat for the past half hour. Maybe it's that happy blog that Patti finally linked me to with all the pretty pictures that make your heart smile. But I mean, damn, this is a happy feeling. What a switch from yesterday. Basically, yesterday I got all worked up over a kind of little thing because I am a woman and that little thing was the feather to fall upon my crying pile. Poof. But now, everything is ok.
Dang...everything is ok. Like seriously, at this very moment, I couldn't tell you a single thing wrong with my life if I tried. Wow. Maybe that chicken my mom made for dinner was drugged. But really now! Is it silly of me to wanna smile like an idiot and hug people and smile at everyone on the street(which I do usually, but with more happiness than usual)? I'd say this is quite a lovely feeling. Which reminds me, I need to watch Love Actually before Christmas. OHH I'm so excited! You know, my family has this tradition of watching A Muppets Christmas Carol, the night of Christmas, after the rest of my family has gone to their homes. It's gonna be great, just the six of us (don't forget Poco and Chewy!) on the couch, watching the Muppets, together. Haha I sound like such a sap! But you know what! That's ok, because everything is ok, and I'm in love and it's Christmas time.
I hope you had a good day today. Because after all, it is Thursday :)
P.S. Something from my childhood that I hope makes you smile (worth the copy and paste!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzfyK_0fmIU
I'm in such a spectacular mood right now it's ridiculous. I'm in a mood where "I turn off my computer-get up to go to bed-and think-hey I wanna blog about this happy feeling which is overflowing out of my heart and making every lil cell in my body smile". Maybe that's a bit to detailed. Well, I at least hope my cells are smiling. Or a majority of them. Anywho. This probably has to do with Rahul (who I probably talk about too much but thats ok). I don't know man. Maybe it's the plain white t's song that has been on repeat for the past half hour. Maybe it's that happy blog that Patti finally linked me to with all the pretty pictures that make your heart smile. But I mean, damn, this is a happy feeling. What a switch from yesterday. Basically, yesterday I got all worked up over a kind of little thing because I am a woman and that little thing was the feather to fall upon my crying pile. Poof. But now, everything is ok.
Dang...everything is ok. Like seriously, at this very moment, I couldn't tell you a single thing wrong with my life if I tried. Wow. Maybe that chicken my mom made for dinner was drugged. But really now! Is it silly of me to wanna smile like an idiot and hug people and smile at everyone on the street(which I do usually, but with more happiness than usual)? I'd say this is quite a lovely feeling. Which reminds me, I need to watch Love Actually before Christmas. OHH I'm so excited! You know, my family has this tradition of watching A Muppets Christmas Carol, the night of Christmas, after the rest of my family has gone to their homes. It's gonna be great, just the six of us (don't forget Poco and Chewy!) on the couch, watching the Muppets, together. Haha I sound like such a sap! But you know what! That's ok, because everything is ok, and I'm in love and it's Christmas time.
I hope you had a good day today. Because after all, it is Thursday :)
P.S. Something from my childhood that I hope makes you smile (worth the copy and paste!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzfyK_0fmIU
Monday, December 6, 2010
The Essence of Complaint
I am currently killin time before sleepiness, bloggin, facebookin, and listening to the love actually soundtrack because it makes my heart feel all fuzzy and warm and happy. Yay happy hearts :)
However, I am in a bit of a pickle (which is a nice change from the recent career catastrophe) WHICH BY THE WAY. Didn't get resolved at all. I had a small possible epiphany, but changed my mind, until Sunday, when I got the best advice so far. My friend Mike said "Marianne, be you, and be happy. You have alot going to you and shouldn't stress, because the future will work itself out." And so for now, I'm chilling on the matter.
Back to the pickle. Actually multiple pickles all related to one giant pickle. Like a vegetable tray. I have 3 more Arabic classes left in this semester.
Vegetable 1) The teacher has yet to tell us when the final is.
Vegetable 2) He refuses to give us a study guide.
Vegetable 3) We just started a new book today. Which apparently, will have most of the final material in it. Mind you we have 3 classes left.
Vegetable 4) The used book I ordered like 4 months ago was supposed to come with a DVD. I didn't realize this until today. It did however come with a creepy distorted kodak picture of a nice looking girl and this ugly curly haired kid with (what I assume to be) a worm that was once submerged in tequila, now stuck up his nose. What the hell.
Vegetable 5) The DVD that I should have obtained has most of the material for the final on it.
So I'm wondering....is this normal for a college class? I really don't want to be complaining if it is. But I never expected a professor to be so sporadic and unpredictable with the subject matter. Like seriously, he hasn't told us when the final will be. 3 classes left.
My question for you: my fault or the professor's? Am I unprepared or is this situation as odd as I think it is? Advice is appreciated.
However, I am in a bit of a pickle (which is a nice change from the recent career catastrophe) WHICH BY THE WAY. Didn't get resolved at all. I had a small possible epiphany, but changed my mind, until Sunday, when I got the best advice so far. My friend Mike said "Marianne, be you, and be happy. You have alot going to you and shouldn't stress, because the future will work itself out." And so for now, I'm chilling on the matter.
Back to the pickle. Actually multiple pickles all related to one giant pickle. Like a vegetable tray. I have 3 more Arabic classes left in this semester.
Vegetable 1) The teacher has yet to tell us when the final is.
Vegetable 2) He refuses to give us a study guide.
Vegetable 3) We just started a new book today. Which apparently, will have most of the final material in it. Mind you we have 3 classes left.
Vegetable 4) The used book I ordered like 4 months ago was supposed to come with a DVD. I didn't realize this until today. It did however come with a creepy distorted kodak picture of a nice looking girl and this ugly curly haired kid with (what I assume to be) a worm that was once submerged in tequila, now stuck up his nose. What the hell.
Vegetable 5) The DVD that I should have obtained has most of the material for the final on it.
So I'm wondering....is this normal for a college class? I really don't want to be complaining if it is. But I never expected a professor to be so sporadic and unpredictable with the subject matter. Like seriously, he hasn't told us when the final will be. 3 classes left.
My question for you: my fault or the professor's? Am I unprepared or is this situation as odd as I think it is? Advice is appreciated.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Just let me ramble a bit
Today was a very good day. I accomplished a lot of work, put up Christmas stuff, hung out with a cool person pretty much most of the day.
I'm really feeling Christmasy. Maybe it's just my family, but everyone is so much...glow-y around this time. And you're not as bothered by the little annoying things. Instead of piling up like usual,they evaporate. Which is a nice thought.
The four things on my mind right now are:
1) dubstep
2) cinnamon apple tea
3) my stupid career choice and Mark Zukerberg
4) scholarships
At first this list seems a bit intimidating, but the wonderful thing about fall break is it is chill as HELLLLLL. I could be any range of emotions right now, but I have no idea, cause it's so chill! I've come to appreciate chillness.
The silliest of the list, number 3. I just finished watching the social network ( it was pretty decent) and I got thinking about the whole career thing once more. Ya know I think I'm really jealous of super smart people. Like Mark Zukerberg. I wish I could do cool stuff like that. Obviously I couldn't invent facebook but...do you get what I mean? There was a line in the movie where someone said "Harvard students invent careers for themselves"
And I think, hey, I could do that. But then I think, wait, am I smart enough to do that? Not that I doubt how if my brain works or not. Just that...you know. I'm confident about myself...but not in that department. Because- who knows if I CAN be confident? I don't think I'm one of those people. Gah. I just don't want to go through life wondering if I could have done better. If I could've pushed myself more or aimed higher. Do other people do this? I certainly hope so...hah.
Are these blogs too long and rambly for anyone to actually read? Please let me know. And I hope I don't come off as whiny. Any help would be highly appreciated with the whole career thing btw.
Someone randomly just come up to me on the street and be like "hey! you'd be a great ______________"
That'd be nice but it's not gonna happen like that. At least I know I'm trying to work it out =)
I'm really feeling Christmasy. Maybe it's just my family, but everyone is so much...glow-y around this time. And you're not as bothered by the little annoying things. Instead of piling up like usual,they evaporate. Which is a nice thought.
The four things on my mind right now are:
1) dubstep
2) cinnamon apple tea
3) my stupid career choice and Mark Zukerberg
4) scholarships
At first this list seems a bit intimidating, but the wonderful thing about fall break is it is chill as HELLLLLL. I could be any range of emotions right now, but I have no idea, cause it's so chill! I've come to appreciate chillness.
The silliest of the list, number 3. I just finished watching the social network ( it was pretty decent) and I got thinking about the whole career thing once more. Ya know I think I'm really jealous of super smart people. Like Mark Zukerberg. I wish I could do cool stuff like that. Obviously I couldn't invent facebook but...do you get what I mean? There was a line in the movie where someone said "Harvard students invent careers for themselves"
And I think, hey, I could do that. But then I think, wait, am I smart enough to do that? Not that I doubt how if my brain works or not. Just that...you know. I'm confident about myself...but not in that department. Because- who knows if I CAN be confident? I don't think I'm one of those people. Gah. I just don't want to go through life wondering if I could have done better. If I could've pushed myself more or aimed higher. Do other people do this? I certainly hope so...hah.
Are these blogs too long and rambly for anyone to actually read? Please let me know. And I hope I don't come off as whiny. Any help would be highly appreciated with the whole career thing btw.
Someone randomly just come up to me on the street and be like "hey! you'd be a great ______________"
That'd be nice but it's not gonna happen like that. At least I know I'm trying to work it out =)
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